Are you meeting the wrong goals?

We all have goals and desires.

We have goals and desires that we talk about openly, centring on things we’d like to do, be, or experience.

“I will run a marathon this year.”

“I want to start a business.”

“I’m trying to become fluent in Spanish.”

“I’d want to excite and challenge my partner.”

We’re proud of these goals. They are positive statements and we define our identity around them. When we think about ourselves, we imagine that we are the kind of person who would do those things, so we strive to make our external reality strive match our internal self image.

Then we have other goals, where we try to remove or minimise traits that we don’t like about ourselves.

“I don’t want to be fat anymore.”

“I’m going to quit smoking.”

“I’m trying to stop procrastinating.”

These are also positive goals and desires, even though they highlight a negative aspect about ourselves. We have these goals for much the same reasons that we have the more positives ones, above.

Sharing these goals can be motivating and encourage you to strive to reach them.

But there are other desires and ‘goals’ that we hold close to our chest that we don’t want to talk about.

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing and be ridiculed.”

“I don’t want to talk about my goals in case I don’t reach them.”

“I don’t want to feel the pain of failure.”

These are the easiest goals in the world to achieve; just do nothing.

We all have ‘goals’ and desires like this, even if we might not refer to them as that. They’re self limiting goals, that sabotage you and prevent you from achieving your real desires.

These are soft goals that stop you moving out of your comfort zone, and ultimately, the stop you from being who you want to be.

Don’t satisfy the wrong goals.